By Aminat Awogun
With the birth of instagram, facebook, whatsapp and snapchat, one can’t help but to welcome and feed these social media with the activities of our daily lives and thoughts that run through our heads whether sensible or insensible. The social media serves as a large tray of network where individuals get to table their opinions and achievements, leaving room for social comparison. This is particularly common among the teens and adolescents, who have lost physical interactions to social networks. The more you get to use the social media and look at other people’s lives, the tendency to feel that everyone else’s life is cooler than yours, and when you view other people’s lives through the lens of your own life, you tend to have a false confirmation about yourself. This may have an impact on you psychologically and you may begin to put unnecessary pressure on yourself. You start asking the why questions. “Why can’t I look like her?” “Why haven’t I achieved so much?”
People don’t get to post their failures, in fact, so many things on social media have gone through filters. Everyone goes through the struggle, but only the end result is displayed for the public to see. There is this imaginary standard of beauty and success set by social media, which many folks spend hours of their days to achieve. Self worth is now being measured by the number of likes individuals get on social media, whereas behind the screen, it is a big hat no cattle. Measuring your self worth through social comparison may lead to the development of symptoms of depression, you begin to question your uniqueness, which is actually what makes you stand out. Loneliness sets in and rejection climbs in. With the advent of apps that help in image alteration, it can be so hard to differentiate between what is and what isn’t. This creates a great stress for people who engage in social comparison, weakening their self esteem, for no good reason.
Social media, the cave for hiding imperfections. When you say nothing is perfect, I am forced to ask if you have been to the social media, and seen roses without thorns. The bitter taste of behind the screen struggle has been masked by wonderful feeds and stories with great sweeteners, making it difficult for people to see that they need help. After all, help can only be rendered to those that seek for it. Of course, it is okay to look good, it is great to have nice stuff, but making things more glamorous than they are, actually make things harder. Teenagers often feel the pressure to impress the outside world, to look strong when deep down, a whole lot of shitty things are going on. They feel the need to look perfect among peers and sometimes, to look smarter than their peers. No doubt, the social media is a rush world. There is no perfection anywhere, don’t let social media rush you and make you think someone somewhere has got it all figured out, it’s a big fallacy and guess what? It doesn’t exist.
Social media can impose substantial amount of unnecessary stress on you, you begin to feel the need to always post something, respond swiftly to messages, show the world what you are currently into, you start feeling unease and a need to be available 24/7, and itching to count the number of likes on your post every now and then. Need I remind you that there is a world outside the social media. I have seen people who had to go on a social media detox, because they can’t cope with the fear of missing out, THE FOMO SYNDROME and the sad feeling that you are not doing great stuff when compared to others.
Contrary to people’s belief, research has shown that these platforms tend to increase your sense of loneliness rather than feeling connected to other people, because you simply block yourself from the real world and drown in fantasy of the social media. Spending too much time on the social media may not only be physically draining but mentally draining too. Outside the walls of social media, you feel the world, and you are able to dedicate more time to self-development rather than spending your time doing self-comparison.
Furthermore, the things we post on social media have a long term consequence, some folks just feel the need to respond to every post they come across without weighing the risks the response may have on the poster, after all, you can’t go and beat them. It’s a large network, you may want to be conscious of whatever appears on your feeds, so you won’t jeopardise great chances in the near future. What many people don’t understand is whatever you post doesn’t convey your intention along, people read different meanings and you don’t get to dictate what they should understand about your post. Many have lost job opportunities because of the silliest of all things- engaging in word battles, posting irrelevant stuff, misplaced jokes, flattering photos and the likes, in an instant, whatever you post gets a world view. You never can tell who are reading your feeds, and the kind of impression you give really matters.
Before you feel the need to uninstall your facebook because I have successfully tucked you to feel the social media is all black and no white, hey! I’m not a racist. We can’t overlook the opportunities social media offer. The fantastic opportunity to network, display your products and reach out to customers, and it is also an avenue for great learning, if you can properly handle it. Different people use social media for different reasons, and you should be part of the percentage that have outgrown social media effect. When the feeling of inadequate arrests you, when you begin to feel the world is leaving you behind and you feel like questioning yourself if you have really made progress in life, remind yourself that no one has it all figured out, and we are all constantly trying to look good in the mirror of life.
