Everyone holds opinions about the type of person they are. These opinions are at the heart of self-esteem and they affect how you value and feel about yourself. Self esteem is not static or fixed; your beliefs about yourself can change throughout your life as a result of circumstances and experiences. The word ‘’esteem’’ comes from a Latin word which means ‘’to estimate’’ so, self- esteem is how you estimate or regard yourself and how do you do this? Try asking yourself these questions:
Do I like myself?
Do I think I’m a good human being?
Am I someone deserving of love?
Do I deserve happiness?
Do I feel deep down that I’m an okay person?
People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer ‘yes’ to all or most of the above questions. Perhaps, you are one of them, if so what can you do? Self -esteem is shaped by your thoughts, relationships and experiences. It is the overall opinion of yourself, how you honestly feel about your abilities and limitations. When you have healthy self- esteem, you feel good about yourself and see yourself as deserving the respect of others. When you have a low self -esteem however, you put little value on your opinions and ideas. You might constantly worry that you aren’t ‘’good enough’’.
Self- esteem begins to form in early childhood. Factors that can influence self -esteem include:
Your own thoughts and perceptions.
How
other people react to you.
Experiences at school, work and in the community.
Illness ,disability or injury
Culture
Religion
Role and status in the society
Furthermore, relationship with those close to you – parents, siblings, peers, teachers and other important contacts are especially crucial to yourself esteem. Many beliefs you hold about yourself today reflect messages you have received from these people over time. If your close relationships are strong and you receive generally positive feed-backs, you are more likely to see yourself as worthwhile and have healthier self -esteem. If you receive mostly negative feed-backs and are often criticized, teased or devalued by others, you are more likely to struggle with low self-esteem. Still, your own thoughts have perhaps the biggest impact on your self- esteem; and these thoughts are within your control. If you tend to focus on your weaknesses or flaws, you can learn to re-organise negative thoughts and focus instead on your positive qualities.
It is not possible to point to one cause of low self -esteem for everyone because each one of us follows a different path through life. The formation of your core beliefs about you is a
complex process. Your in-born nature or temperament will play a role, but your experiences and relationships with the people around you also have an important part to play.
You can have a better self -esteem. Remember, You are uniquely special; a good way to start improving your self- esteem is to acknowledge that you are special because there is no one else quite like you. Not only are your fingerprints and DNA different from everyone else’s but your mind and how it thinks and operates is totally yourown; this means that out of almost 7 billion people in the world, you are a one-off. So if nature has bothered to make you unique, don’t you feel you should accept that you are important and also that you have as much right as anyone else to be on this planet?
You have other rights, too. One of them is the right to make mistakes. Don’t forget that ‘’to err is human’’ and most of us learn through getting things wrong before we get them right. Also, we have the right to respect ourselves and to be respected. And perhaps, most important of all, we have the right to say ‘’yes’’ or ‘’no’’ for ourselves.
Conclusively, halt destructive thoughts. Many people with poor self -esteem think they are not very important and that their views carry no weight; is this you? If so, try to stop these
destructive thoughts because if you go around believing them, you will encourage other people to believe them, too. Instead, start thinking of yourself as someone who has rights, opinions and ideas that are just as valid as those of anyone else. Self -esteem is not the ‘’facts’’ about oneself but rather what one believes to be true about oneself, therefore it can be changed. Appreciate yourself, you don’have to be ‘’miss world’’ or the ‘’most brilliant’’ before you place value on yourself. Love yourself the way you are; Tell yourself you are a quality person. It is not about arrogance, it is merely self-confidence. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel you don’t deserve what you want because Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating it. Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.
