Are offences avoidable? How can we avoid them when they come? Peace is something man cannot do without, “wars” are what we cannot flee from. Wars in this context is not between states or countries, but that which comes in bits through our relationship with one another in the human society, that is, offences. People tend to offend us and we take umbrage at every slight misdeed people commit toward us. These wrongs we usually try to retaliate through malice, fights, hostility and so on.
The more we talk, the more people we anger. The more we act, the more the dissatisfaction people get from our behaviours. The things which are right in your sight may be wrong in someone else’s own. The beliefs and practices we hold in high prestige may be ridiculed by others. Those facets of our lives which are of value to us may cause or receive great disinterest from others. The perfume or spray some of us wear may nauseate some people.
All these and many more are pointers to the fact that misdoings are unavoidable. Individual likes and dislikes, actions and inactions differ from one person to another. However, we can reach a compromise; certain measures can be taken to curtail these offences from enduring or deteriorating into hatred. These measures are personal responsibilities that individuals must strive to put into practice. Most often, when a person pick offences at another’s dispositions, such person can go as far as denting one’s image in the society, stirring the anger of others towards one. These measures can be divided into two. A part goes to the offensive while the other goes to the offended.
The offensive can curtail hurting people by not trying to please people. The moment one tries to please others, one becomes an unstable individual tossed to and fro by the wills of people. One may eventually end up displeasing those that one is trying to gratify. Another thing is moderation. Talking less, eating less and trying to do everything moderately. There is a saying that “too much of everything is bad”. One should not be extravagant or showy and then, never should one do beyond one’s capability all because of wanting to be in par with everyone. Third, approach people in order to get their opinions about you. This is neither foolishness nor cowardice, it just enables one to adjust wherever and wherever there is need to make amendments.
The first key needed by the offended in order not to keep feeling bad about the actions of others is forgiveness. Learn to forgive and learn to accept others for who they are. We all can never be the same in any respect. Being conscious of this alone immunes one against resentments. Another thing to do is correcting by love. Approach others to correct them through the words and works of love. This is neither because one is a talkative nor a poker, it helps one correct others as regards their misdeeds even when they do not seem to know this. If they now fail to adjust, accept them for who they are. The third key is moderation. That is, one should not use correction as a pretext to insult people and don’t become enemies with anyone because of their offensive characters. Don’t corrupt others minds against someone that one is not pleased with.
These keys will not only help us all in curtailing our grudges and its consequences alone, it will also pave ways for corrections, leading to near perfection. One should love until one sees offences as channels for great friendship and progress between oneself and others because it is written “love shall cover multitude of sins”.
