You can easily look good put together in just a suit and tie.
2. Your jeans are designed with pockets you can actually put stuff in.
Women’s jeans? THE POCKETS ARE SO SMALL!
3. Your jeans always fit in the butt.
Women’s jeans are made for a body that seemingly does not exist.
4. You never have to wear high heels to formal events.
The pain! THE PAIN.
5. Meanwhile, you guys get to wear flat shoes no matter what.
6. And your dress shoes are so much better.
7. You have never experienced the unique joy of thongs. Ever.
8. Or a bra.
9. Instead, you get to wear boxers.
Which are basically just comfy pajamas.
10. You guys get to wear suspender
11. And tuxedos.
12. Plus, you get to wear bow ties with those tuxes.
Bow ties! The BEST.
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13. But don’t feel like dressing up? Your standard jeans-and-tee outfit always works.
14. And more formal events are easily solved with a blazer and tie.
Presto-chango.
15. Your pants are determined by separate waist and inseam measurements.
Women’s pants are given arbitrary sizes. What does a size 7/8 even mean???
16. You wear basketball shorts like it’s no big deal.
And you can wear ’em out and about without being accused of being a scrub.
17. You can put on shorts without considering the state of your leg hair.
18. You never have to contend with makeup.
Isn’t it strange that we’ve evolved culturally so that it’s socially acceptable that women wear makeup but men don’t? How’d that happen?
19. Or pantyhose.
20. Or losing an earring.
WHERE DO THEY ALL GO? (Island of Missing Earrings.)
21. You don’t have to deal with blow-drying your hair.
22. But you get to have fun facial hair.
Bored with the way you look? Just shave your beard!
Or grow one!
23. You can wear jeans and tees all the time.
24. And you don’t even have to wear shirts. If you don’t want to.*
*And, oh yeah, this last one we totally don’t mind.
