By Whyt
Some of us still smell of hugs and kisses from the falentine suntin. I hope you all had it warm? Well, this is funnycation, the laughter column. As the Irish people say, “laughter is good exercise for the mind.” So we want to begin the session on a humorous note.
By the way, my name is Loquacious Olivia Lawrence, aka LOL; perhaps that’s why I am always laughing out loudly. I believe that one should laugh while one’s live, for dead men have nothing to laugh about.
Le’ me share my back to school experience. I boarded this bus on my return to school. Usually it takes me ten hours to get to school. Don’t bother asking why I came all the way, the allure of graduating from the first and the best varsity was simply irresistible.
While on the bus, the man seated next to me began to doze. At this time, it was only thirty minutes into the journey. Each time his head will slide in a step-wise manner and land on my shoulder. He’d jerk abit and go back to sleep without apologizing. The man was even snoring occasionally like he was in bed. The gallops and potholes jiggled him quite rigorously but it wasn’t enough to steal his sleep except when we got to a check point, he’d sleepily buy snacks and drinks from the hawkers.
Amidst the sleepy yawns, the man bargained with the sellers. He bargained like a woman who would make sure to get maximum utility of every naira. I got so interested; because I wanted to improve on my haggling and haggling skill.
Well, I did learn but the way and manner in kwhich the man devoured his food, like a famished lion was a sight to behold, it was both amusing and amazing. And just after the last bite he’d slip away to soundly sleep.
While sleeping it was bad enough that he snored, he also farted as though there was a septic tank in his stomach. This left all the passengers with no choice but to constantly ask the person closest to the window to open the windows, even when the window was open. Several of us put our handkys over our nostrils to deter the malodorous air. That was the much we could do.
Then as we approached Ibadan, we got to another check point and the man as usual awoke, pulled out his wallet from his pocket and this time, he not only bought snacks, he also bought chewing sticks. And for the first time in our lapsing ten-hour journey, he offered me something. And guess what? It was one of the chewing sticks.
Trust me; I enabled the selective hearing component of my brain. I deliberately refuse to hear him.
Until next week when I bring you another joke, that threatens to make you laugh until you choke. I remain my humble self, Loquacious Olivia Lawrence, aka LOL. Keep on laughing out loudly!
