Olówó fowó ra wàhálà (The rich buys troubles with money) – Yoruba saying
Just like in Lagos, there are also two types of residents at You-High; the mainlanders and the Islanders. We’re focusing on the Islanders today.
You know how a typical resident of an Island does? Like they would die if they lived on the mainland. Don’t make the mistake of starting a conversation with them, they will definitely find a way to tweak it to the many benefits of staying on the Island.
But what they won’t mention, are also the many detriments of living there. Just like Lagos Island houses are built on water, You High’s Island houses are built on tears and oftentimes, the tears can’t help but seep out.
There is the latest presidential villa. Bricks of onions and pepper coated in professional make-up. You can’t help but love the outside more than the inside here. It is perfect for taking pictures for the gram but when you remember that there are chances of your roomie sneezing into your mouth, your smile disappears.
Then, we have Emefiele’s children. Adorable students living a larger than life lifestyle in You-High. These are the types of rich kids that you envy. Just until you realize that their kitchens are made of tears and they pour every time there’s no electricity supply. You can imagine how often that is.
And then, we have the talented kids. Don’t insult a talented one because if you do, they’ll drag you into the rat hole. That’s where they live. The only thing big about them is their generator.
Here comes the self-acclaimed angels. Neither did the Holy Books mentioned female angels, but in the farthest corner of You-High island, you’ll find them. You know the saying, small body, big engine? Now tweak it. Big body, small engine; that’s who they are. Do not be deceived by the beautiful exterior and spacious interior because in the house of angels, also live demons in forms of generator, porters, and gatemen.
Also, there is the boarding school hostel down the road before You-High water. If the GLO network were a hostel, they’d be the one. This is because everything from payment to visiting to rules fluctuates and depends on whomever service officer is on duty.
And we dare not forget our sisters in the Lawd. They may be farther but they’re still one of us. They are the only Islanders on the mainland, low-budget rich kids. A replica of face me, I slap you; a hostel and a village. There are more rules than residents. But at least they can boast of not living in rat holes and on jotter-size mattresses.
You see, as much as all of these apartments have different peculiarities and are always trying to outshine each other, they are unified in electricity hunger. Remember I told you they are built on tears, they could win a Guinness world record for crying because every 5-7 market days, they’re starved of light and subsequently, water and other essentials.
So, the next time an islander tries to shame you for living in the mainland or in the USA (United slum of Agbowo), remind them that the rich also cry.
