Dear Entrepreneurs And Skill Acquirers; Dey Play, Just Dey Play!

Image Creator: vanshika

What is this fuss about soft skills acquisition? The incessant crusade about acquiring lucrative skills to support one’s GP is such a rib-cracking joke. Can you imagine a lecturer coming to class to preach marketable skills like tech skills, public speaking skills, writing skills, experience from internship and others?They are not necessary since students have the golden skill of a university education devoid of self-improving extra-curricular activities. Of course, the academic workload is smothering enough, hence students are not encouraged to include passion-discovery palaver in it. Abeg, leave skill acquisition for learners who are not ready to be a ‘hot-cake’ in the working mainstream! How to become a first-class student on paper: 


Students who troop into this union, hiding under the guise of skill acquisitions, are only shooting themselves in the legbecause journalism is a herculean task, it’s only a go-to for students who care less about their education such that you forgo one for the other.  What about the rusticated ones? You must be willing to surrender your studentship for truth and solidarity. Little wonder, a friend once said that the union is an abattoir: it slaughters every spirit of laziness attacking your muse and bleed you past any writer’s block you might want to experience. In fact, you will be left with just the carcass of unique and improved writing skills by the time editors fine-tune your pieces for a whole session. Imagine such cruelty all in the name of a skill that can’t make you the person you ever dreamed of becoming. The obvious fact that no one knows Wole Soyinka or even Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is enough to berate any writing group. Ignore those adept writers of UCJ; they are a bunch of jokers who fail to live in their own realities. So, when you eventually leave the premier university without any marketable skill or experience, all the multinational companies in the world will fight to employ you while those entrepreneurs will be nowhere compared to your grade.


The Literary and Debating Society is another torturous gathering on campus. How can students flee the dungeon of non-strategic ‘jacking’ for a stimulating speech delivery?  The most ridiculous of it all is that some students halt assignments of farther deadlines for writing jaw-war speeches. These preparations not only painfully expand their thinking faculty, but also parachute them from the naivety of rookie speakers to the circus of experienced speakers. This will then pave the way to being challenged to the fierce battlefield of the Jaw War. It is the land of ‘bants’, an ocean filled with vicious sharks waiting to devour you at the slightest mishap; the paralysing adrenaline that engulfs you as you mount the stage is not left out. Such rigorous drilling over nothing. What is a plain accolade of being a jaw-war winner and a quintessential world-class speaker to your ‘almighty’ academic result? You just leave those crushing speakers alone, public-speaking skills cannot even secure their seats in heaven; let alone an appointment as a business promoter for Bernard Arnault. Let them just be playing, suffering and smiling while you incorporate ‘igi-iwe’ as your middle name. 


What are those Students’ Union campaigners and eventual officials feeling about that popularity-based election? As if the low-budget campaign is not enough, they stoop so low to vying for such serving roles as President, Vice-President, Treasurer and so on. You will be bewildered by the gamut of persuasive manifestos these contestants will panel-beat together just to serve the students. They subject themselves to the ‘Sisyphus’task of unending critical thinking, answering the becks and calls of students, getting a seat at the decision-making table and another belittling role; all for the experience of unnecessary leadership and the little space it will take on their CV. Thereshould be no room for idleness that comes with politicking in your life as you are devoted to a bigger course: to be a graduate that is found worthy in character and learning in the First and Best university. It straddles you with the burden of being aware of casual issues on campus and uselessly sharpens your mind. Stick to the ‘big guns’ of stark university graduation with zero knowledge of how the leadership clock ticks. You don’t need such mind-enriching stress; you’re just perfect as an unknowinggraduate. 

I bet you can now see that these skills acquirers need solid advice because how would they trade their authentic ‘job-driven’ academic years for a hoax packaged as soft skills? Be wise. Don’t join the league of ‘illusory’ students! 

AmyWrites/NAPS Press

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