“Blessed are the piss-makers for they shall have their moi moi and banquet devoured” – A concerned uite
“Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
http://www.ucjui.com/students-week-celebrations-necessity-or-frivolity/
“Mad” as an adjective has different meanings and except for where it is defined as “passionate about something“, it is mostly used to qualify persons, things, situations or circumstances characterised by excessiveness, wildness and uncontrolled destructiveness. While Englishmen find it very difficult to define that word with a single sentence, the Queens of Idia Hall and the Lions of Baluba perfected the definition in just three words, “Idiaites and Zikites”. Such that when your GES 101 lecturer asks you to define “mad” or “madness”, don’t you bother googling, wikipeding or checking that big Oxford dictionary, just reply “Mad or madness is Idiaites and Zikites” and watch how resounding your applause will be.
It is indeed a tale of two mad cities (Halls) situated in Nigeria’s premier university, University of Ibadan. You might probably be wondering why such level of disorderliness and messiness should be recorded in a University that prides itself and students as being “worthy in character and sound judgement”, but verily I say to you, be thou not surprised, nor wonder for events like this only tell us a story. Events like this does not only reveal the extent to which the “system” has failed, it also shows us in vivid picture how a University that was once the pride of Africa has now turned to the shadow of its former shadow.
http://www.ucjui.com/students-week-celebrations-necessity-or-frivolity/
I am sure you must have heard different versions of this tale from both Zikites and Idiaites with both set of fools trying to hoe the blames to the other side. However, beyond all the deceptive embellishment and blame-hoeing, some facts are still undeniable and somewhat irrefutable. The facts that:
- The Queens of Idia Hall traditionally held a rally last week and in their procession got to Zik Hall and Indy Hall where they were supposedly offended.
- Having been offended, they communicated their grievance (formally or informally) to both Halls that they should not step into their hall when their rallies come.
- Yesterday, Zik hall defied that warning and visited Idia Hall during their procession where Idiaites have been patiently waiting for them and finally baptized them with “stale” water (probably a stronger or weaker version of urine).
- The Lions of Baluba having been offended went to have a congress and returned later in the evening in the most barbaric manner to disrupt their dinner at the Abdulsalam Abubakar PG hall.
These four facts are the skeletal bones on which other “jaras” have been added. Take for example, while Zikites said of Idiaites’ initial visit that “…we danced and sang with them and they danced with us on our platform and they later left peacefully” (a euphemism for Idiaites being rallied I guess). Some Idiaites have said otherwise that they were stoned, abused and drenched with water. Similarly, the “water” poured on Zikites when they came to Idia was in contention. While Idiaites said it was “stale” water, Zikites have claimed that it is nothing short of filthy urine water and “concentrated” waste from the toilet. But beyond all these, it is no doubt shameful and heart-wrenching to see that both hall leadership allowed the whole issue to degenerate into such a state that the security personnel had to be called upon to restore order after ferociously disrupting the dinner and blessing the kingdom of Jaja with not less than six patients.
Many have attributed the foundation of this madness to Idia’s decision to partner with Mellanby Hall in their “Mellidia” week celebration and altogether ignoring their old time “husbands”, Zikites. Nevertheless, it is still strange to reasoning on why this has to be the cause for the ladies of Idia to murder the “worth” in their characters and on why the Zik guys had to throw the caution of “sound judgment” to the winds. And then, it becomes necessary for us to ask as the Yoruba will do ask that let’s assume Zikites are not cultured enough to have “abused” Idiaites when they came in the first instance, should Idiaites follow suite in the same philistine manner? Why did Zikites have to come back to disrupt their planned dinner? Why the destruction and act of wastefulness? As a matter of fact, it is like the story of a newly wedded bride that went to take her bath in the river and left her cloths on the river bank. While having her bath, a mad man came along to pack her cloths and started running away with it, the naked newly wedded bride without thinking twice gave the mad man a hot chase to recover her cloths until both invaded the market with their insanity at which point it was too late to differentiate between the thief, the mad and the owner.
In all these conflicts and tumult, it is obvious that certain two personalities are at the head of this Idia-Zik war and they are their war leaders. These are the two personalities at loggerheads without which all that happened would have remained fragment of literary imagination and they are the Hall leaders of both halls, Ekpe Daphne (Idia) and Oluwafemi Okunlola (Zik) a.k.a Flamez. Interestingly, these two leaders have so many things in common. One, they have both risen from nothingness to relevance when they became the chairpersons of their respective halls. Also, they were both lucky to have their hall candidates get elected in the recently concluded Students’ Union election with Zik hall producing the President and the Public Relations Officer and Idia Hall producing the Vice President after such a long time during which Awo had made it their birthright. This success has no doubt added to their relevance and that might have probably gone into their head as they began to think highly of themselves. And lastly but not exhaustive, both of them have this personality you will not define without using words like “impatience, haughtiness and unnecessary edginess.” These personality traits no doubt largely accounted for why their hall members temporarily suffered from a temporary disease our friends from the psychiatric homes will call “Major Affective Disorder” and as such did not think twice when they both launched what our guys in the barracks will refer to as “Mutual Assured Destruction”. As a matter of fact, I think these two should be held responsible for all that happened yesterday and I am of the strong opinion that there was nothing coincidental in what happened yesterday as every step was duly planned, carefully premeditated, well calculated and religiously carried out. One thing should be duly established, the conduct of members of both halls of residence is not just unacceptable but also condemnable and the leadership of both halls should be made to face disciplinary actions to serve as deterrent to others.
At this juncture, we need to ask some salient questions, “Where have the Students’ Union executives been?” Where were the Security Committee of the SRC to take pre-emptive actions before it all degenerated into this scrappy state? As I have noted earlier, three out of the eight students’ leaders in the brown house are from these two halls and it is quite saddening and shameful that they could not contain the excesses of their fellow hall members. At one point or the other, the Vice President, Mosopeoluwa Aderibigbe must have known of Idiaites’ ill-decision to baptize Zikites with “stale water” and should have taken steps to avert such collision. Now, let’s assume she was too docile and nonchalant to do that, the Students’ Union President, Olateju Aliyu Oladimeji on the other hand must have participated or heard about the calculative plan to launch a revengeful attack on Idiaites later yesterday and had obviously done nothing to prevent the ugly situation from happening.
This argument is simple, if he can’t control the animals (lions) in Baluba zoo, then how does he intend to govern the humans of UI when it is obvious he shares close personality traits with his brothers. This is what my brother, Tijani Mayowa would describe as “Be careful when a naked “SU President” promises to clothe you”. His comportment and conduct so far as the Union president has raised doubt as to his suitability for that office. Just like his War Leader, his personality traits can also be summed up in words like “impatience, haughtiness, unnecessary edginess and I-know-it-all syndrome.” and this has largely accounted for his pursuit of superficial objectives at the expense of fundamental ones in the Union. The same can be said of the other members in this executive cabinet. This is an administration that has recorded substantial absence of some key members from their offices and others just gallivanting around like motherless balloons. This makes one wonder if the SRC has approved any clock or any time machines for them to know that time is not a snail. Though, we have seen your good intentions and the initial gra gra on the Students’ Union shuttle and the likes but Uites are waiting for the “changes” you promised to “illuminate”.
Similarly, the so called elders of Zik Hall need to have their bald heads examined and the clueless stake-holders of Idia Hall should be unreservedly rebuked. If the so-called elders and stakeholders can be in the halls and yet those acts were carried out, then it shows the limit of their wisdom and competency in handling conflicts. Tact used in preventing conflict is much more appreciated than the wisdom expended in solving it. The way forward is to make sure that we avert similar events occurring this year again as it is being peddled around that we may yet witness a version two of this show of shame between Katangites and Idiaites, hence all stakeholders must ensure that this does not happen. More so, the Hall Management should quickly call for a peace meeting between Idia Hall and Zik Hall leadership to avoid further pandemonium and a cold war between the “two mad cities” even as an e-war has been launched between the members of both halls on Facebook and WhatsApp groups. And again, the efficiency and responsiveness of the University’s Security Unit has been called to question, at this time of the session when different activities are being organised, it is reasonable that we have more than just 10 Abefele patrolling the University and this would have prevented the unnecessary usage of “pepper spray” and “curry spray” in addressing the situation.
Lastly, just as every war fought in the history of mankind comes with its attendant cost, the Great Zik-Idia war of 2015 also comes with its own sacrifices. The first cost, the great ego and pride of the Baluba kingdom has been stingingly washed away by the “stale waters” coming from the pits of Idia Kingdom. The second cost, the great banquet valued at hundreds of thousands of naira prepared by the Queens of Idia lay wasted to the improvident and wasteful hands of the Lions of Zik. And the greatest cost of the war, the human resources, not less than five students were rushed down to Jaja as a result of Zikite’s uncivilised demonstration and the security personnel’s inefficiency. My heart is with these five patients, I wish them quick recovery and a strong spirit to be able to write the forthcoming examinations.
