I can mentally see eyes bulging out of their sockets and people stamping their feet in holy consternation at such a “blasphemous” statement. Well, I could say that again, “To hell with Virginity”! yeah, you heard me right. That was exactly what I told my best friend when she came to me with eyes sore with weeping, telling me the s
tory of how her boyfriend “used” and dumped her.
What an unfair world! I mean why is it that when a relationship crashes, the girl is the only one at the receiving end of the shame and disgrace. I’m not a feminist or one of those people that believe that what a man can do, a woman can do better. However, I’m a staunch believer in equality. I believe that women should be given equal rights as men. That is, “what a man can do, a woman can also do, with equal percentage of effectiveness”
Imagine a situation whereby a girl and a guy are having sex in a relationship and they eventually break up, the guy goes around boasting triumphantly to his friends of how he has used the girl and moved on to greener pastures, while the girl hangs her head in shame and dejection, she dares not tell anyone. Although, I have absolutely NO respect for any guy that boasts of his “conquests” in the bedroom. I see it as immature, childish and totally unfair! Don’t even get me started on that, it’s a story for another day.
What a load of crap! I put it to you that it is the guy and not the girl that should feel used. Allow me to delve into biology a little bit, it is believed that the lady enjoys the “whole act” more than the guy and besides, according to recent findings, sex is nutritious to the female system”.
Now, I am not an advocate of sleeping around or jumping from one guy to the other, in actual fact, I’m a staunch believer of No sex before marriage. But, on the other hand, I detest the fact that the lady has to take full responsibility for something that was done with mutual consent.
This world is hard enough for ladies without adding the extra trauma of relationship palaver! Girls are supposed to know how to cook, dress well, talk well, be nice and cheerful but not too nice or they’ll think you are a flirt, be hardworking; lest people start saying you are not wife material! Then you have to endlessly fend off advances from the opposite sex, you have to be intelligent, but not too intelligent or they will say you are trying to outsmart your husband. It’s indeed an unfair world for the female gender.
Virginity is supposed to be a thing of pride, bestowed on everyone (male and female) by the creator. But why does a guy feel on top of the world when he loses it and a girl has to feel suicidal and empty when she loses it! Virginity is not a woman’s pride, yes it is something to be proud of, but loosing it does not mean the end of the world. I mean what is the use of a virgin who has no manners, can’t cook; she’s dirty and can’t take care of the house, can’t even engage in intelligent conversation!
In my opinion, Virginity is highly overrated! Does your virginity fill your bank account, does it get you a job or does it make you a good wife?
A woman’s pride lies in her ability to take care of herself. It lies in her success and her independence! If you happen to be a virgin, I say congratulations! It’s not easy to keep oneself up to this point, with all the persistent and insistent advances from the opposite sex.
If you are not, then I want to say, pick yourself up, dust yourself down, gulp a healthy dose of self esteem, raise your shoulders and move on. Learn to choose your relationships carefully and let no one despise your youth.
It sickens me when ladies cry over a guy that left them. Well, I admit it could be devastating but hey, console yourself with the fact that:
- He can’t ever find anyone like you. Its his loss. You are beautiful, unique and smart, and letting you go might be the biggest mistake he has ever made.
- There are other bigger fishes in the ocean; plenty of guys out there just dying for you to look their way, so why the tears?
- He does not deserve you. Now, no one, I repeat, no guy, is worth your tears (except maybe he died). The fact that he made you cry means he is unworthy of you. Please move on.
- There is no such thing as heartbreak! A guy can only wound your pride, he cant break your heart. Your heart was put there by God to pump blood not to love. Yea, you can quote me anywhere.
Virginity is cool, but it’s cooler when it’s coupled with common sense!
By Adeleye Ibukun.
Editor-In-Chief,
RESPO.
