Ok seriously I’m pissed and when I am, you know better than to cross my path, here I am jejely trying to rack my head on what to write for the scrolls because I kinda have a writer’s block (yeah I’m a writer …Loll) and yet some people have made it their lives’ mission to make my life much more harder than it should be. I’m beginning to think that annoying me has become a competition where people strive to get a gold medal
Now, it wouldn’t be so annoying if majority of them didn’t reside in my hall of residence, Ob
afemi Awolowo hall. I don’t know, have I offended the gods or something, because if I have, I swear it wasn’t my intention. I’m going to be listing them and so help you if you are on this list! Although, it basically consists of most people on my floor. You know yourselves and if I were you, i’d appease me with erm, probably amala and ewedu soup (I’ve been having cravings for that since last week), and please remember to add goat meat, or better still pounded yam and egusi soup will do. And if you think that is too much, just kindly send some money to my account.
So here they go
The wanna-be Singer
The girl that sings in the bathroom, your voice is good, we all know that, although it’s not one of the best voices I have ever heard and I don’t begrudge people that do that, because the truth is that everyone does that (whoever denies singing in the bathroom or even dancing is a big big liar). However what I hate is when you try to shove your voice or your song in everyone’s head. your voice is too loud and did I forget that I’m in one of the unluckiest people on my floor, my one-man room is directly in front of the bathroom, in front of the waste disposal and adjacent to the toilet and also very close to mount Zion(why me). She was one of the former student union executives . dear S, either reduce your voice or I’ll bring a microphone to the front of your room and sing Fuji songs, I now you don’t really like them, I was your bunkmate in 100 level remember? Imagine how I feel when I’m in fantasy world and your loud voice snaps me out of it. Please just stop. You know I love you; I just don’t like the singing part.
The hairdresser,
Remember me? I like to think that I’m unforgettable. I was the one that came to braid my hair. There are so many saloons in Awolowo hall, since I’m not looking to spoil anyone’s business so I’ll just go straight to the point. You didn’t do anything that bad, but you wasted my attachment thereby making me spend more than I budgeted. And then my scalp is basically sore. For two days since I made it I haven’t been able to sleep I have been moving my head like there’s a giant load on it and I seriously doubt that I’ll be able to sleep well tonight either , I feel like my head weighs a thousand tons higher than my body weight. It really isn’t your fault; I was the one that wanted to look fine.
The girl that borrows stuff,
Yet again, I will not mention your name, because I believe she has a reputation to protect but you know thyself. This girl can borrow for Africa, Flash drive, soup, tooth- paste, money, pepper, handbag, magi, onions, and laptop and for some weird reason she likes to borrow it from me. Since I really can’t over emphasize how nice I am, I always lend her except the time she wanted to borrow my clothes but the annoying thing is that she NEVER returns whatever she borrows and that is quite annoying. I wouldn’t be so pissed if she didn’t borrow my standing fan and hair straightner and has since not returned. Worse still she has disappeared and it makes me constantly ask myself, why on earth do I have to be so nice?
The photographer,
My hall of residence has so many photographers but only one more prominent. So this guy won’t stop disturbing me , either to come take photos or to come and claim my two year old photos that are still with him after I have told him countless times to delete them , but the guy just doesn’t listen, instead, he went ahead to print them and now he badgering me to pay up. Do I look like central bank ni but don’t worry man, two can play the game.
That girl desperately searching
Ok seriously this girl is pushing me. She is always on my neck. I’m not a pimp. If you are looking for people that will introduce you to guys, then you are in the wrong female hall. Now she has taken it to another level, stealing numbers from my phone. Seriously, how desperate can you be? Just like the others you know yourself.
Toilet users
Chai these people are wicked o. See the fine girls on my floor, yet they will use the toilet without flushing. it is not good o . Pity me now biko! Think of all the air fresheners I have to buy. Seriously I might have to resort to installing secret cameras .its people like you that make people label Awolowo hall as being dirty, when the actual fact is that it is the people that reside in awo hall are the dirty ones ( except me…loll)
Now that I have ranted and raved, i feel a little better and I do really hope that for the love of god that you don’t repeat it again .
Until next week, ciao
