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earlier this week, I came across an old picture of me and an ex boyfriend, of course I’d gotten over him and we are now on speaking terms ( despite how nasty and horrible the break up went ), I couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic. I took a trip down memory lane and I realized that although it didn’t work out, I didn’t regret dating him and he still had a place in my heart, (however tiny that space might be). The point isn’t that I wanted him back, the point is that I realized that in the world of relationships between a boy and a girl, a man and a woman, there are some people that we have dated that will still hold a special place. I don’t know about guys o! but I know a couple of ladies would support my hypothesis.
The First Love: This is quite different from the first crush( I don’t know about others, but the people I crush up always end up a massive disappointment which often makes me wonder why I ever crushed on them in the first place . I remember vividly that the first guy I ever crushed on ended up turning his girl friend into a punching bag). He/she is usually the first person we fall in love with other than our family members. Often times people meet their first loves in secondary school, but for late bloomers like myself, we don’t get to meet our first loves until we gain admission into the university. He/she is usually the first in everything, (first handshake, first hand shake, first kiss blah blah blah, you know what I mean).
With them you finally feel like a woman or a man as the case may be. He/she probably encompasses all the qualities of your childhood fantasies. You can’t wait to introduce him or her as your boy friend/girlfriend. Your first love is your first lecturer, he teaches you relationship 101. He/she will teach you to open your heart, to trust and t
o love without holding back, of course you’ll make mistakes with him\her but those mistakes will make you a better person (hopefully).
For a lucky few, they end up getting married to their first love, however for the rest of us mortals, we move on to other people, forging ahead and saying good bye to the past, but of course that first love still has a place our heart and cannot be forgotten no matter how much we try.
The ones that came at the wrong time: These ones came at the wrong time. You would probably have dated them if either or both of you weren’t in another relationship at the time but the timing was just always off. He/she has all the attributes your current boo doesn’t have. He is caring when your boy friend isn’t, she cooks for you when your girl friend doesn’t, he/she understands you when your boo doesn’t, he/ she is always there. We all probably have this kind of people around us, but we simply cannot break up our relationships because of the few good qualities that this people posses because often times that’s just as good as they can get. Hence, they have a place I our hearts, like a spare tyre we hope not use but still there just in case of an emergency .
The bad guy/girl: Oh, I love the bad guys personally. They’ll steal your heart without your permission and make you feel glad that they did. He/she does not bother to hide their “badness” infact, he takes pride in showing it. We always think we can change them, but usually, we fail because that’s who they are and that is what made us fall in love with them in the first place. Besides, we are not God. They’ll make you laugh and will definitely make you cry, sometimes more than they make you laugh. And then, they’ll work away, leaving you bereft and hanging but by that time, we would have discovered what it is we want from a relationship and what we cant stand for, ever again. The bad boy/girl could only be once in a lifetime thing (except you are a complete idiot), they help you realize that you have to raise your standard
The One that got Away: They always seem perfect. They say and do the right things. They are a clear embodiment of all that you have ever wished for, except that he’s perfect (seemingly). And no one is supposed to be perfect, right? He/she is so perfect that you are careful not to ruin it. You don’t know whether to believe it or not. They make you question yourself and feel not up to standard. He/she offers you all you have ever wanted or thought that you wanted. You feel crowded, you are not sure you are ready, not because you don’t want him/her, but you don’t know how to handle such perfection in the face of your imperfection. So, we let them go because we feel we are not worthy. And you will hope that you don’t regret letting him go. We then secretly wonder, what if???
The One: He/she is the ultimate. The one we end up spending the rest of our lives with (personally, I’ve not met him yet). They will capture you heart and you will capture theirs. He/she erases all the old scars and mends the pieces of your broken heart and make you forget about everyone you have ever thought you loved. With him, you now realize why it never worked out with the other. Now, The One, is the one person that we are all searching for, going from one relationship to the other, and when eventually we find him/her, our search is over. Some never do, some do and let him go. I just hope, for all our sakes, that when we find the right one, we shall not throw him/her away.
