By: Lord Tyron
Dear readers, followers, entourage and loyalist,
I, apostle and president writes, first of all, to reveal myself and my dogged efforts, which you must know, whether you like it or not. If you don’t know anything about me, know this now: I am the apex, a structure and capacity for that matter, and in fact, fellowships have recognized this. In recent times, they have shown they noticed.
At this very tender age of mine, I am going places; I can confidently say I am the youngest president in history.
For me, leadership can be defined as the act of “collaborative, exhaustive, and robust engagement,” followed by whatever comes out of it and then extending that aggrandizement to the chapel for approval. Whatever that might mean is none of my business, because I am the president. If “e easy,” do am!
So my people, I am well pleased by the way even the Church has recognized my “tireless efforts.” I’m tempted to say, “Perhaps I am the Moses of this dying union.” For I have seen respect slaughtered before my greatness.
You see, if my chair is not at the front, how will they see my starched and ironed white agbada? Yes, I don’t like to be humble; it’s not in my family bloodline. Even if I come late, my seat should be already reserved for me and my entourage. I must be seen, and I accomplished that three Sundays ago. I must say, that wasn’t my first time.
That is what I call leadership: you must be seen everywhere, even if you are not working. Just make sure your trousers have a nice gator, your shirt is well starched, and your shoes are polished and furnished.
As a student leader, some lefty folks will come to you with a “strategic plan” to solve pressing issues or offer leadership advice. I beg you, don’t take it. People who couldn’t even buy forms want to give me advice? Instead, form your own inner circle committee; perhaps add a few past leaders. I am speaking from experience. Don’t kill yourself for students. I have said my own.
You see, I have the strongest security. I am Oriyomi Hitler. I don’t take orders. I was democratically elected, and I defeated a standing structure of more than 15 years. Who does that? Besides, I also love to partake in ribbon cutting ceremonies and then return to refresh myself in the swimming pool near my office. I mean, that’s what elites and upper class citizens do.
It’s not about working, it’s about how smart you can be. I intentionally told my contemporaries that I cannot use my head to fight against school fees. I am not their father. We need to be very guided. I am a student just like they are, and thank God, NELFUND has made things easier. Why should I call a congress? Borrow now and pay later, nothing will happen.
Therefore, my beloved brethren, I will continue to pray for you all. I can’t sacrifice my greatness. I can’t afford to stain my white shirt. My coworkers and I will carry out “robust engagements” and make “tireless efforts” to restore the kingdom of the Union. If you’re not satisfied with what we are doing, I dare you to step forward.
Your apostle and structure,
Oriyomi Hitler
