By Akinmoyeje Timileyin Precious
ANTHONY KELECHI
Hi, my name is Tony, I’m just a regular guy. Sorry! I may be very bad when it comes to introductions, but one thing you should know about me is that; I HATE MY MUM.
Well! I can imagine the expressions on your faces when you saw this. You all can call me weird, spoilt, insensitive, but you are either a hypocrite (sorry to say) in my shoes or a very lucky kid.
Why? Hell yeah! You want to know why?
Well, in saner climes- not polluted by cultural and religious gibberish- nobody, I repeat nobody, would love someone that inflicts injury on him or her for whatever reason.
Except he or she is ermm….Let’s say autistic?
Isn’t it illogical to hit a human with a stick or belt under the so called disguise of love?
Like the other day, my own mother, whipped me so bad because I went out with friends. And Yes! Female friends by the way. And you all call that sanity?
Well, never am I buying that school of thought. It is oppression and slavery dignified, that has to be abolished.
Good day.
MRS KELECHI JOY
Good day oo, God’s people. I am Mrs Kelechi, popularly known as mummy Tony. I stay in Lagos with my Son.
I don’t condone nonsense and I believe in discipline. Despite all my efforts at training him, Tony has turned out to be a disobedient fellow.
He is like the stubborn goat who returns to the house where it got whipped. I don’t know who I have offended or what I have done wrong.
Abi! Don’t they say that the child that the parent loves he chastises. Despite all my efforts-in words and whip- to caution him, he still doesn’t listen.
I mean, can you imagine the other day, he went out to party with two girls dressed half naked? And he has the effrontery to call those ones friends?
Well! As long as I am alive, I will continue to beat the devil out of him until he is delivered. Anu okuko na-eme isi (a stubborn chicken ends up in the stew pot). It won’t be my own child
Tufiakwa!
THE AFRICAN CHILD AND THE PARADOX OF LOVE
Love has no universal definition, it is in the simplest way, a strong feeling of attraction and care between people. It is like a driving force that fuels positive behavior towards the recipient. Love calls for sacrifice, sincerity and attention. Thus, a parent’s relationship with his child is arguably the highest demonstration of love. Out of love, various parents employ various means of child upbringing and these means may be subject to culture, religion and sometimes literacy. You know, every parents or maybe not every, most parents want the best for their children. Out of love (arguably), a typical African Child gets whipped, caned, beaten so as not to end up- as they would call it-wayward. That’s definitely not positive, at least in a literary sense, only an enemy inflicts pain. Well, thus is the paradox of parental love.
SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD?
As stated earlier, child upbringing is subject to a parent’s discretion, which- as you may know- is also subject to the parents’ culture, religion and literacy. In Nigeria, the major religions all support corporal punishment as a means of correction. For instance, “spare the rod and spoil the child” is a biblical verse almost made cliché by parents in the country. Islam also doesn’t antagonize corporal punishment. The religion of our forefathers, rooted deep in culture, definitely does not allow “sparing the rod”. This coupled with the sense of pride Nigerians take in discipline makes corporal punishment definitely a widely accepted act. The indigenous practice in the country is to” discipline” a child. This holds despite cultural differences. Owing to this, an average Chike, Musa or Bola would have a record of being spanked either in school or at home.
THE TAKE OF THE NIGERIAN LAW
As at now, there is no part of the Nigerian Constitution that explicitly prohibits corporal punishment. Infact, the 1999 Constitution does not have provisions for children. However, the country has adopted some legislations that sees to the rights and welfare of children. A typical example is the child Rights act of 2003. Even the aforementioned act does not in any place prohibit the use of corporal punishment.
DRAWING THE LINE BETWEEN CORPORAL PUNISHMENT AND ABUSE
In recent times, various activist movements for children have called for laws prohibiting corporal punishment in Nigeria. As expected, there are people who are strongly opposed to this. It would be very hard to remove an integral part of people culture and religion on child upbringing don’t you think? Consequently, many debates have held over this and no consensus has been reached so far.
First off, the meaning of corporal punishment and its conformity or discrepancy to and from what is being done is sine qua non to reaching a consensus (if there would be any at all).
According to UNICEF, corporal punishment is action intended to cause physical pain but no injuries. Wikipedia also defines it as inflicting physical pain or discomfort by adults or parents for the purpose of correcting unacceptable attitude. Majority of the instances observed however differ greatly by purpose and by method.
This meaning of corporal punishment invalidates the use of rods and other substances injurious to a child while trying to discipline him or her. It invalidates the beating of a child out of anger or frustration. It is necessary to consider, are these done out of love or anger, would it cause emotional and health damages to the recipient? Does it change his or her behavior in any way?
Therefore, the only instances that it is corporal punishment is when;
1. It is not done out of anger or revenge.
2. It is bearable and causes no emotional or physical injury to the child.
3. It is meant to discipline the child and nothing more.
Furthermore, the child acts of 2003 explicitly prohibits inhuman treatment of any child. It reads under right to dignity of a child that
Every child is entitled to respect for the dignity of his person, and accordingly, no child shall be‐
(a) subjected to physical, mental or emotional injury, abuse, neglect or maltreatment, including sexual abuse;
(b) subjected to torture, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment;
CONCLUSION
On the 30th of August 2018 as published by the Vanguard, a 30 year old Nigerian man was arraigned in court for hitting his daughter with a rod. Well! He definitely didn’t spare the rod, but if that is not seen as a criminal offence, then what is? There is the place of correction and there is the place of anger. Corporal punishment as an integral part of culture and religion, may or may not be abolished .If done right, corporal punishment could be cathartic and help build a lasting parent-child relationship. Only one seduced by the aphrodisiac for violence perpetrates injurious act under the guise of discipline. As students, grown-ups, who probably have escaped from the shadows of flogging, we can help sensitize our parents and also keep these in mind for the purpose of our future kids. We definitely should not make the same mistakes our parents made, don’t you think?
