My brother, Asiwaju Babatunde Badmus has just been nominated for an award…I can imagine what your minds must be processing by now. Well, let me just go straight to the point, it’s not just an award, it’s an award for BEST STUDENT LEADERSHIP IN NIGERIA! I quite understand you need a glass of water right now, to step down the joke you’ve just read, but this is not a joke, it is real… My brother has been nominated for the Best Student Leadership Award and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Well, for those who don’t know my brother, you can check out a courtroom article titled “BB’S UNITING UITES ADMINISTRATION; A FAILURE?” VIA http://www.ucjui.com/bbs-uniting-uites-administration-a-failure/ to know the court’s judgment about his personality.
Where do I start from? Well, congratulations to you, dear brother on this great feat you’ve achieved. This is excellence personified. To have one of our own shortlisted for a leadership award is nothing short of signs of greatness. Considering the fact that you are from the premier University, where importance is placed so much on character and sound judgment (not even in learning). My school father, Professor I.F Adewole must be very proud seeing this and I will strongly recommend you forward the link to him if he’s yet to know about this. This feat of yours is definitely one of the success stories that will justify the professor’s hard work and sleepless nights of positioning the University at the global scene. Erm, and let me remind you, failure to “tactically maneuver” the link to the professor is an attempt to wantonly hide the light of his administration and that indisputably amounts to gross misconduct. Do I need to remind you of the punishment? Well, as a recipient of the “Strong Reprimand Award”, I expected you to know better that your extra-year is surer than GEJ’s second term!
However, brother, before we carry the “saara” (Yoruba word for alms or charity) of our jubilation pass the UI central mosque, it is pertinent to note that some of our friends here may not deem our “saara” passable. Friends like one friend of mine like that may be of the opinion that we should put out a distress call to Prof. Onyebuchi Chukwu to quarantine all the fellows that nominated you as we need to be sure they’re not suffering from any mental variations of Ebola Virus disease. For what else would inform such an ignominious decision than a “defect of reason as a result of a disease of the mind” (apologies to my learning colleagues). Of course, people like him may not deem our “saara” passable as a result of your desecration of Adepeju’s memory by putting up a scarecrow in representative of honour in a desperate bid to have your name inscribed on something shaa. Don’t mind them, that’s their mug of coffee, let them carry it about, for all you care, they can carry it to ASO rock, that’s free adverts for 2015…Lmao.
Asiwaju, I’m afraid, people like one friend of mine like that are also in this game of rendering our “saara” impassable. For people like him, they would out rightly suggest that we send all the fellows that nominated you to Sambisa forest, empty-handed to face the dreaded Shekau and his fellow blood suckers. To them, it is only cruelty and hypocrisy of the highest order that would inform such enthronement of vice at the expense of virtue. They have taken that decision as a result of your ability in ensuring a house overflowing with the waters of discord (A ridiculous irony to your selling point, “Uniting Uites”). They have taken that decision, as a result of the “Omo oju o r’ola ri”‘s (prodigal son) patented behaviours that you’ve flaunted while in office without properly giving credit to him (poor Omo oju o r’ola ri, he’s used to such unappreciated kind gestures). To them, your days of Students’ Union President was synonymous with maladministration, mismanagement, plunder, bungling, show off, egoism, misuse, misplacement of priorities and others in that cabinet. Well, as usual, that’s their plate of “concoction rice“, let them carry it about, for all you care; they can carry it to Agodi, that’s free adverts for 2015…rotf.
For Akinmade Kolawole Kollinton, the only friend that gave his comment to your post on facebook, his thoughts have been summarized in that one txtng-word he typed, “lmao”. Of course, to people like him, nominating you for such an award is a joke that calls for a sane person to laugh his ass out! Not just the everyday joke, it is a kind of joke my great Uncle, Hon. Obaigbon would refer to as “Otomopoic Talidubai” joke, only one of its kind. This nomination, according to our friend may force us to call the integrity of the people you led into question, were they humans at all? Were they sane? Did they know anything called honour? Well, don’t mind them jare, Omo-oba, that’s their pot of beans, let them carry it about, for all you care, they can carry it to Alausa, that’s yet another free advert for 2015…*wild grins*
Meanwhile, for students of history, this award may remind them of a similar venture your esteemed administration tried to execute, THE STUDENTS’ UNION AWARDS, UNIVERSITY OF IBADAN. They could remember that criticisms like houseflies trailed its leper’s track. People were of the opinion that the award list promotes vices more than it seeks to reward hardworking students. Those criticisms like wildfire later killed that leprous award. However, the students of history have been able to put three and two together to note that this awards that our amiable Asiwaju has been nominated for is an exact replica of that Students’ Union Awards. A glance through the list would reveal awards like “Money bag”, “club boy of the year”, “club girl of the year”, “popaholic of the year”, “Best club chief”, “Best rave party”, “Mr. flash” and others in that vicious cabinet. And that leads us to question the integrity of the organizers. Looking at the google form, the identity of the organizers could not be identified; their names were not even typed with the faintest font. And that leads us to another position to question the existence of the organizers. Are they ghosts? Though, students obsessed with detective stories later investigated the name of the organizers to be “SCREAM AWARDS”, yet, that does little to change their opinion. For these students of history, to allow yourself to be nominated in this kind of awards is in fact a sin in itself, talk more of soliciting for people’s votes, and then, that’s like you’ve committed a murder! (Yes, a murder of sanity). Well, it’s not a surprise; birds of a feather flock together. A mad man must giggle with a fellow lunatic. And when a man, who has specialized in the eating of navel-less rats in his privacy, is being offered a delicacy of limbless toads at public dinner, of course, he won’t have any sense to reject such, because he’s already used to awkward dinners. Well, Asiwaju, that’s the thought of students of history, to hell with them and their history. For all you care, they can carry it to West England…No one would believe them, at least, no one would link such primitive behaviour with a respectable researcher in the University of West of England.
Wetin concern me and Deyola Diana Abioye, one of the girls that voted for you, is that you must win this award! To hell with all dem bad beles, ipako ko gbo suuti, ori elegan l’obaje. The happiness of my brother is my happiness. And I will never be sad at a brother’s success because I, too, want my own to come. Meanwhile, let no one accuse me of poke nosing into an affair that doesn’t concern me. What nose have I poked? My brother has asked me to rebroadcast and that’s exactly what I’ve done! A tun ma ri’ra wa ba o jare…what are brothers for? Congratulations in advance.
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