If there is one thing that bothers the mind of any finalist around— asides thinking about the future—it is those things they wish they had done in previous years in school. Well, you can argue that some people are not just bothered. Yes I agree with you. And I believe it is for either of these two reasons: One, they have their lives all planned out by their “rich and connected” parents; two, they basically don’t have a vision or dream. Any finalist who does not fall into any of the above category has at least one of the following regrets.
Regret is a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviors. I agree with Monica Johnson, that regret is not a proactive feeling. It is situated in disappointment, sorrow, even remorse. It merely wishes things were different without an act to cause a difference. There is no such thing as a life without any regrets. However, regrets can become either burdens that interfere with your present happiness and restrict your future, or motivation to move forward.
REGRET 1: I REGRET NOT SOCIALISING
Finalists who fall into this category are majorly Students obsessed with first class: those who have been there, those are there, those who have been close to been there all their life, and the other class of students with an introverted nature. For the first class students, they come to realize that life is not always about them and the first class they make. The realize that what makes a man great is not just the knowledge he has but the people who appreciate and benefit from that knowledge, the people their knowledge has helped. They beginning to realize that they don’t know many people.
I remember asking a finalist this question: Aside your classmate and probably your church, how many other people do you know on a personal level? At first he said: “Haaa, I know many people now”. I asked again: “Tunde (real name withheld), How many people do you really know on a personal level? He began to stutter. How many will feel they know many people. Many will feel they have tried their best to interact and relate with people, only to realize that they know so many people without actually knowing one person. It’s simple, how many people will attend your birthday party if you organized one? Yes that’s the number of people you know. Now the essence of connecting and relating to people on a one-to-one level goes beyond the four walls of UI (or are the walls more than four? … whatever), it forms the foundation upon which you build up yourself and reputation. It plays a decisive role in promoting human development in today’s new climate of social change. Many finalists now realize this and wish they had done better. They realize they don’t just have that “network” or “connection”
REGRET 2: I REGRET SPENDING ALL MY TIME CHASING FIRST CLASS AND NEGLECTING OTHER ASPECTS OF MY LIFE I COULD HAVE DEVELOPED.
This is different from Regret 1 in so many ways: One, only finalist with a strong second class upper fall into this category; Two, Finalist in this category not only have Regret 1, but also regret not getting themselves involved in extracurricular activities that could have made them a better person and build their Curriculum Vitae; Three, while it is not in the nature of many in the first category to relate with people, it is in the nature of those who have regrets 2 to do so. They only chose the prioritize making first class above any other thing. This category of people regrets not joining associations, contesting for political post, developing their talent or learning a skill in school when they know they could have been good at that too. They regret not taking full advantage of the many opportunities the land of UI avails them outside the class room and library. And I tell you there are more than many.
REGRET 3: I REGRET NOT HAVING A RELATIONSHIP.
Yes. Funny as it sounds, some finalist do. I personally don’t see this as regret, but to some it still is. And I think I understand why. These days, there is the general belief that it is a lot more difficult to getting into a good relationship outside school than when you are in school. For the guys, they say it is easy to find true love as student, rather than when you are rich and ready to settle. When I was still young, I listened to my uncles discuss this, they say something like, Now that I’ve graduated and I have a job its way harder to meet women. For the ladies, the whole world expects that you have a fiancé in quote. This regret, I believe is borne out of peer pressure and social beliefs. You see your younger ones going out with cute boys and beautiful girls, and you just there with your books or worse still with nothing. I know a finalist who has not kissed a girl, and he does regret it. If he were a serious Christian or Muslim, then it is nothing to regret. But he wasn’t. I was like: “What?!” and he was said “Yeahh,… I know.”
REGRET 4: I REGRET NOT TAKING MY STUDIES SERIOUS.
Students within the weak second class bracket (second class lower), third class students and some students in the Pass bracket have this regret.
Yes! One man’s desire is another man’s regret. The brilliant ones regret not socializing enough. The academically dull ones regret not taking their studies serious. These sets of students believe they could have done better. They had potentials in secondary school, but somehow they couldn’t tap into that potential in the University. Some turned into party lovers, got led astray early on in 100 L, some got too involved with associations, some went through serious trying periods in school and where depressed most part of their stay in school, some just grew lazy. Irrespective of the cause, they all know that they could have at least tried; they know they could have done better.
REGRET 5: I REGRET NOT TAKING GOD SERIOUS.
Yeah,. You go to fellowship/Mosque as a finalist and see how far a fellow class mate has gone with his walk with God. The Fellowship President, the Hall Imam/ Alfa; you all got admitted into UI at the same time. You see how far they have gone with God, but you only see how far you’ve gone warming the pew. Now while it is not possible for all of us to be Pastors and imams, it is expected, that as a finalist, to have grown to a level with God.
XPONENT
