THE OLD TESTAMENT: THE MELLANBY WE KNEW
In the beginning, University of Ibadan created the great Kenneth Mellanby hall, not only as home for its foundation students but also as a thing of pride and prestige, to be reckoned with as the varsity’s premiere residence hall. However, the serpent of Time caught up with the varsity’s premiere hall, leaving it with nothing but a shadow of its former self.
INCONVENIENT CONVENIENCES
Sooner than later, Mellanby hall became famous for the dilapidated state of its toilets and the unwelcoming nature of its bathrooms. Mellanby toilets degenerated to a state of complete disuse. The urinary systems were streams of stagnant water, colored yellow and smelly in the most irritating degree. Bathrooms were only normative; and for health reasons, many would hold their breaths as they spill water over their heads. To be conveniently put, the conveniences in Kenneth Mellanby hall were no longer convenient.
How did the premiere hall get here? The problem lay with a sense of irresponsibility and nonchalant attitude towards hall facilities. Many a mellanbite only knows how to use toilets but few are blessed with the rare aptitude of using it effectively. The same goes for bathrooms, urinary systems and sinks. Little wonder, the Hall Management exerted a fine of #2,000.00 (later reduced to #1,000.00) on all residents of Block A (excluding those leaving in the ground floor) for misusing the toilets. This is a really reasonable approach and it is hoped that a pulling of the ear will deter future errants.
HOLES OF INSECURITY
On security, matters were worse. Just last session, there were at least three reported cases of theft in the hall. At the beginning of this session, as well, there were at least two reported cases of theft. In one single case, a mellanbite, identified as N, came down from his room in topmost floor in Block C to watch an exciting match. When he got back to his room, his veins vibrated at the sight of an event which could have been most shocking to him thus year: His school bag, with all the books and materials in it; his wallet, including all the money and cards (ID and ATM) contained in it, his phone and his laptop, were all gone. Obviously, he has been robbed in the hall that was once thought to be a home.
N’s case is just one of many reported theft cases this year. A pressmen has equally been defrauded of his power bank, a freshmen has been robbed of his phone; just to mention a few. Can we still say that the dream of making Mellanby a home is being fulfilled? It is said in Latin that every man’s safest refuge is his own home but when the “home” no longer feels like home, insecurity dawns on the house owner more clearly.
WATER: THE COMMON THING THAT WE LACKED
Water is regarded as the most common substance on planet Earth, making up about 70% of the Earth surface. This would make it seem as necessarily available to all. However, this was not the case with Kenneth Mellanby hall. Flashback to last session, water would be enough for early in the morning; and as early as 10 am. Or 12pm, there would be nothing left in the scrambled four tanks in Block C which serve the entire hall.
The problem of lack of adequate water supply which beset the great hall last session was directly caused by two major factors. First, there was a breakdown of the water tanks in Blocks A and D, making more demands on the only available options; the five water tanks in Block C (Block B is more or less, an extension of Block C, and so, does not have water tanks of its own). Second was the problem of poor power supply. Though much effort was made by the hall executives to minimize the impact of these factors on water availability, it nonetheless became a spoke in the wheel of many Mellanbites which they had to tackle.
THE NEW TESTAMENT: A DAWN OF ENDLESS RENOVATIONS
The aforementioned is intentionally couched in the past tense to signify that it only represents how things used to be in Kenneth Mellanby hall. However, in just a space of months, it will seem that the premiere hall has resumed to the preservation of its prestige. Just this session, if there is anything noticeable about Kenneth Mellanby hall, it is the dawn of renovations which seemingly has broken over and continues to unleash a floodgate of tangible changes in the hall. Consequently, a number of problems have been solved, and to some extent, Mellanby hall is not as we used to know it, the hall has changed testaments.
MAKING THE CONVENIENCES CONVENIENT
The inconveniences are gradually becoming convenient. This may seem a surprise to many, but Kenneth Mellanby hall now has some new Water closets; much more convenient to sit on to answer nature’s call, compared to many of the old dilapidated ones. Surprisingly, all of the ten water closets in Block D (finalist Block D) have been replaced. Equally, some substantial amounts of new WCs have been fixed in Blocks B and C, while only one of the luxuries seems to be bequeathed on Block A.
Sentiments aside, Block A residents deserve not more than one of the new water closets. As stated earlier, a majority of the residents in that Block were fined just last semester for mismanaging the toilets and just as the wise saying, “they will take from him who has none, that only remaining that he has and give to him who has so that he can have more”. This might sound like some amoral capitalist principle; however, it only restates the truth that much is given to those who show their integrity in handling little. Since the freshmen in Block A have not matured in handling old water closets, they shouldn’t be entrusted with the new ones.
Sequel to the need to protect some of the old water closets in Block A from mismanagement was the locking of the door to two of those old toilets, specifically in the last floor. This locking takes place in the night and reopening of the toilets will be done in the morning, by a porter or interior minister of the hall.
In a bid to make the conveniences more convenient, water is now running into the water closets. Not only is the toilet bowl in use as it then used to be, but also the sink. Asides, this may sound like a surprise to residents in other halls, but in Mellanby hall, you can bathe under showers. Though not all showers run with water; a handful of them do. Though not at all times, they work at most times. At the time of this reporting, when this writer tested out some showers on Block D, none of them worked. An interview with some residents of the floor revealed that they are “on and off”. It is hoped that this would be addressed by the hall management and other concerned personalities, so as to ensure that half work is not done in this respect.
ON SECURITY: FILLING THE GAPS AND HOLES
What used to be an issue, as recent as just last semester, is now being tackled. The problem of insecurity is gradually being solved in Kenneth Mellanby hall. As at last session, there were at least three “unofficial exits” out of the hall. One was a door behind the mosque that used to lead to the University bookshop. Another was a small door at the stairs in the ground floor; and the last was a broken fence behind the water tanks in Block D. These spots served as rat holes; permitting the entrance of unwelcome guests from other halls. Some were thieves, some were squatters, and many were the females who wish to spend the night in Mellanby hall.
In a bid to address the problems posed by these “rat holes”; the hall management took due diligence to fill up the holes: permanently lock the doors and mend the broken fence. This renovation was completed as far as before the commencement of the 2017/18 academic session. However, these problems still persisted. This led to the “sealing up” of the Mellanby cafeteria. What we mean here is that Mellanby hall that used to be known as having multiple doors now has only one; the main entrance. All the side entrances have been sealed up; and painted. When we interrogated Mama T Canteen, we were informed that the renovation was not embarked upon by the sellers in the cafeteria but by the hall management. Our source equally added that the sealing up was done in order to monitor the movement and activities of females who enter into the hall, with the representation that they came to purchase things.
It will seem that the hall really means it as serious business to regulate the movement of non-residents in and out of the hall. Meanwhile, from an objective point of view, this would seem somewhat unattainable, considering the schemes the hall is putting in place. First, it is very much possible that the theft cases reported in the hall were perpetrated by mellanbites themselves rather than non-mellanbites. Second, Mellanby cafeteria is located inside Kenneth Mellanby hall, so, any female or non-mellanbite who wants to enter into the hall to perpetrate impermissible acts; can still do so, without being caught because it is easy to assume that they intended to go into the hall cafeteria or a fellowship centre located within the hall. Third, there is no regular mode of screening persons before permitting entrance into the hall. Lastly, it cannot be said that the hall management know all legitimate residents of the hall; and thus, cannot easily distinguish them from unwanted guests.
WATER: “OUR FOUNTAIN WILL NEVER RUN DRY”
As stated earlier, water now runs into some showers and water closets in the hall. Obviously, the problem of inadequate water supply has been solved. How did Mellanby hall get here? By fixing bigger water tanks in Block A to reduce the pressure on the tanks in Block C. Also, a small tank has been put in place in Block D. With these facilities building, life is made easier for mellanbites; and there is no more need for them to wake up earlier than expected to get water for their ordinary chores and toileting. Even though the University community is faced with a problem of inadequate power supply, Mellanby hall is not affected as “her fountain continues to flourish”.
ADDITIONAL LUXURY
It will interest our readers to know that Mellanby hall did not stop there. Towards the end of the first semester, window nets were provided for rooms that had suffered from wear or tear. The sad thing about this however is that this is not a matter of equality, it is one of equity. Only rooms whose nets are no longer good have the privilege of having their window nets changed.
THE FINAL CHARGE: “DEAR MANAGEMENT, GIVE THOU EARS TO THE THINGS THAT REMAIN”
Though we laud the feats of the hall management, particularly our amiable Hall Master, Professor I. Farai, we still hope that some anomalies which remain unaddressed will be addressed as soon as possible. Here is only a reminder to the hall management to take care of the remainder of the good work to be done.
MELLANBY KITCHENETTES: FADED GLORY
When kitchenettes still had their glory, Kenneth Mellanby hall was not short of the glow. But, gone are those days. The state of kitchenettes is not so welcoming. Some kitchenettes have been thrown into outer darkness. Either the sockets or the bulb have become dysfunctional and in worst cases, both.
On the other hand, some kitchenettes that have light have now been given the status of a room by certain students – squatters. Once more, it becomes clearer than light that Mellanbites are the main cause of the degrading state of the hall. But, ought the hall management to look over this mishap as if is not their business?
MELLANBY DUNGEON: THE PIT OF HELL WHERE MOSQUITOES ARE BRED
Yes! There is a pit of hell in Kenneth Mellanby hall where mosquitoes are bred; so dreadful that no one likes to be allocated to a room there, but it is a known fact that it is unavoidable for some to reside there. The ground floor in Block A is the dungeon. The grasses around here are overgrown; the land is waterlogged and the water is stinking; yes, “stinking” and adding to the bad breath caused by the bathrooms and toilets odor.
It is true that students are responsible for this. Meanwhile, a reasonable approach to be taken by the hall management is not to turn a blind eye to this anomaly. The reasonable thing is to renovate the kitchenettes and install sinks that could serve as good sewage systems.
