THE LAVATORY CONUNDRUM
Call them conveniences, lavatories or their good old names, toilets, the fact still remains that they are an essential part of every building. As long as the excretion paradigm remains with the homo sapiens species, we will continue to have toilets as compulsory features in every building and a necessity in every public place. No one can appreciate the importance of having toilets where they should be more than a person who has been extremely pressed in a place with bad toilets or none at all. That by default means, all of us.
As premier universities are regarded as beacons of the society in every nation, the university is supposed to set the standard that all other institutions will follow. It is a pity that we are now failing to fulfill our purpose. For if primary and secondary schools can recognize the importance of a good toileting system, I wonder why the University of Ibadan has refused to.
A while ago, a former student of this institution showcased our dirty linen in public by publishing pictures of the derogatory toilets in the halls of residences to the internet community. This prompted a visit by the Dean of Students to the halls-of-residence to assess the situation. I can still remember what he said when he came to my hall: “these toilets are much better than they were when we were students” I wonder what set or generation of students he was talking about, and I wonder whether unkempt toilets get better or worse. That is just by the way. He performed that customary official inspection almost 5 months ago, nothing has been done. I believe everyone living in the hostels has one or more tales of woe to tell about our toilets. Again, that is just by the way.
Let’s leave the hostels and move to the school area, starting from the faculties. Our faculty buildings do have toilets as they should, but I wonder what good those toilets serve when they are locked 95% of the time. Departments have toilets too, most of which are almost never open. Even those that are open are in such a poor state of maintenance that mere setting your eyes on them will make your excretory system go on strike. If the departmental toilets are disgusting and the faculty toilets are always locked(with no one apparently knowing where the keys are kept), what should a student do when he is pressed? Head back to his hostel? Exactly! Leave the school area, take a cab and head back to your hostel to use toilets that are not even fit to be used by the australopithecus africanus species.
Actually there are other options too, if you are around the faculty of arts or science and you are extremely pressed, you can easily branch at the Students Union building’s toilet. At least, they are rarely locked even at night. But sincerely, they would be a last option for me. I do say a prayer that: may the kind of bodily function that will make me use that toilet never occur to me. Still, it is always available. At least, it has that going for it. Whether or not there will be water for you to perform your function is another story entirely. Page constrictions will not allow me to dwell on that now.
Well enough, UI also has public toilets like every community of humans should. Unfortunately, they are always locked too. They are always inaccessible to students and if not to fulfill all righteousness, I wouldn’t have mentioned them at all. I don’t even know why they were built, maybe for inspection purposes or for posterity. Or it may be for that sudden unexpected visit from the NUC or the honorable minster of education, so that the school authorities can say things like: “we have public toilets, as every respectable school should have them”.
Like the proverbial critical warning that is hardly ever heeded, I know this issue will be trivialized and laughed off as just another funny tale out of school. Of course it is, or so you think. Maybe when cholera becomes a major issue and toilet diseases become the order of the day at Jaja clinic, somebody will listen to me. Maybe then, you will actually take note of my words and get something done. To the newly elected Students’ Union executives, if there is anything I will like you to tackle with rapidity, definitely it is this. We cannot live well and be healthy in community without standard, available and readily accessible lavatories. I called it a conundrum because that is really what it is.
Just to conclude, below are a few pictures. Kindly take note of the patch of grass beside the toilet at a particular department. That is where students now “do their thing”since the toilets are locked. This is not right. Somebody should do something please.
Okemakinde Samson K.
