WE CAN’T BE FOOLED AGAIN

 

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Lots of noise, never-ending announcements, catchy dance tunes, finely auto-tuned voices made to sound in such a way as to hold your heart and mind in grip. Ended around 11:30pm yesterday and now at 7:33am, it’s starting again. Now, we have two different squads in different convoys, meeting at a point not far from my room. Intentionally stopping beside each other for five hellish minutes. Competing as to who had the loudest speakers with each squad maxing out their equipment volumes.

 

That is University of Ibadan Student’s Union Election campaign season for you.

It was the same last year, with each candidate getting artistes to record catchy, danceable tunes for them. Each camp competing as to who could be the loudest noisemaker around campus. Since they knew or believed that their noise more or less translated to votes. Really?

But dear contestants and aspirants, we are no longer fools, those techniques do not work anymore. Well, maybe it could work in getting you votes from freshers, they most probably don’t know how these things go yet. But, play music from morning, till night, if it’s good, I will sing along and even dance to it when I’m in the mood. That doesn’t mean I am going to vote for you. It most probably means I am very critical of your campaign. Let me show a bit of that.

 

As to the quotable quotes and slick, snide snippets that you keep putting on your campaign posters, I just don’t get some of them. To the one that says “We will keep chasing freedom till our toes bleed”, when do you want us to get the freedom? After our toes are blistered and ready to be cut off? I don’t get it. To the one who tell us to “BOW”, I don’t know who you are refererring to , your opponents or the other students? When you tell me to bow by force, you are trying to intimidate and control me, so, I don’t know why I should vote for you. To the one who says “Hakuna Matata”, I think the post you are aspiring to gives you little right to put that kind of hope in the minds of the student body. Maybe you don’t really have a good understanding of what the phrase means. Go and check it up well.

 

Back to the music, some of them are actually cool tracks though with a lot of fast dancehall beats. But I kind of like the one with the catch phrase “na only you waka come”, maybe I could download and save it for my unborn children as part of my university days memorabilia. And to the one using that particular track , “charity begins at home”. Last I heard, you haven’t put your home base in order. Also to the one who says “Can_ _ _ _ 14” on her campaign posters, I can see your hair and jewellery and make-up and accessories. Hmmm, a bit towards the high-side, aren’t they? I think I need to check your present financial situation just to be sure of your intentions. To the one with the campaign poster made to look as if you are standing in front of my hall of residence, don’t kid yourself, I am not fooled. If you really want to doctor a image to decieve people, you need to do better than that. We are not fooled. We know it’s photoshop.

 

I don’t believe all your rants. All of you. I haven’t seen any content worthy of my vote in your campaign announcements. I am not convinced and I speak for majority of the Students. The present adminstration made more noise than this and we can all see the outcome now. Maybe I will even vote for the people making the least noise. At least, they don’t disturb me when I’m trying to get through my assingments. Nobody, and I repeat, nobody can come to “bobo” us again.

 

And to all aspirants, I can hardly wait for the PRESS-NIGHT and the MANIFESTO NIGHT. With this I echo the minds of students. “Woe betide anyone who tries to wow us with big grammar that day, I can tell you, you will be booed off the stage”. We want to hear what you have to say. Your music and catchy phrases are not enough, in fact, they are nothing to me. I will wait till you can convince me, and if I am not convinced, I had rather keep my votes in my pocket. Long Live the S.U University of Ibadan. And may the good Lord show no kindness to those who want to be in power for their own personal gains.

 

OKEMAKINDE SAMSON K.

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