CRUSH IMPOSSIBLE

One early morning after a not-too-interesting lecture, my friend Abby and I decided to have a brief chat at the Faculty of Arts car park while waiting for the next class which was an hour away. Sincerely, the discussion was meant to centre on a pressing issue about our mischievous class rep who would always hoard course materials as if they were “Jaja Cards”. Then a white Honda accord “end-of-discussion” drove in and parked effortlessly right on the apportioned vehicle space in front of us. As Abby cleared her throat loudly when I took a prolonged bat less look at the tall, dark complexioned driver in immaculate ironed shirt and pants, then I knew I had an explanation to give my curious friend. Honestly, I have always had this crazy crush on the bachelor Lecturer (already with a doctorate degree for that matter) who seemed to be in his early thirties. I was not only drawn to his academic achievements you know, but his charisma was one of a kind. The aura around him was soft and fresh. He had this majestic carriage that would prompt you to stand aside on the walkway when he strode down. Talking about his strides, they were so gigantic that five of my steps would not even catch up to two of his. His spoken English is of course impeccable (impeccable? With his Igbo accent? It doesn’t matter; it’s my crush we are talking about here!). Well after all said, the painful thing is that the guy in question is not even aware of my existence! Not even the least of my name. Of course I’ve never had a close encounter with him. He is not a teaching staff in my department, his course is not even palatable enough for me to borrow as an external elective (please don’t just ask me of the department). To the extent that I had to request his friendship on Facebook…yet no show! Abby pulled my ear in a stern manner and said to me,” this crush of yours is impossible, it is a mere fantasy; let it end in this car park!” Many of us have crushed one way or the other, but how many of these crushes have we got personal with? Sure, some crushes must have ended up being lovers but a larger percentage is not better a result than my story. Some people belong to the school of thought that a crush is meant to be temporary and even multiple, meaning you can have as many crushes at once. Then I ask myself, of what use is it to suffer emotional stress in vain seeking fruitless attention. So next time my dear, whenever you find yourself in my situation, don’t get all fuzzy because your crush might not even know you exist. Or on the other hand you can walk up to him and tell him how you feel…who knows you might just be lucky to hit the right spot and your crush becomes a possible one.

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