”It’s only been two days!” She says. A belch follows immediately after.

She’s been eating a lot. For someone with the tolerance to eat just once every day, she might as well pop with how much she’s eating now. The ’once’ she used to eat could be something as basic as a pack of noodles. This one pack would carry her through the day and over every hurdle the university life leaves on the path to the end of the day. Now, her stomach rumbles every hour. Considering the fact that she just returned, everyone is indulging. If mom won’t feed, one of her many aunts, uncles, neighbors’ and others would. Of course, she knows it’s all a means to an end for them. The end, being that they can make her go on as many errands as they require. This disturbs her, but hey, her stomach is getting filled. As of now, that’s really all that matters. At least she thinks so.

Being constantly filled, yet, is not making her boredom bearable. There’s no one to call. While in Ibadan, she, unfortunately, did not deem it fit to keep in touch with her friends back home in Lagos. Now, anxiety won’t let her screw that fact and just call people. Even if she did, how will she explain to her mom that she wants to leave the house? They lied! 18 doesn’t come with any autonomy. It’s just one more thing for people to rub in your face when you screw up in the least.

1. 2. 3. 4.

It’s official. She’s losing her mind.

Am I really counting with the hand of the clock?’ She says inwardly.

Hold on! A phone. She has one. She remembers that.

She reaches for it and presses the power button once it’s in her hand. The glimpse of red in the upper right corner reminds her of why she put the phone down in the first place.


Exasperation is at its peak in her today.

”Fuck it!” She half yells, half whispers.

She slides her finger up the screen from the bottom to bring up the control panel. She clicks on the mobile data icon and it turns green. A life without risks is no life at all. Right? There she is, there star in a woman play titled ’If I Perish, I Perish.

Notification after notification, ding after ding. Every single one gave her a sense of purpose. Finally! Something to do. However, with this good, came its own evil. The fear that the red battery might as well become blank as she carries on ’fulfilling purpose’.

She’s looking at every notification bar as they pop up on the screen. One particularly catches her eye.


”What. The. Actual. Fuck!” She emphasises every word.

She clicks on the notification bar hoping that the headline was nothing but clickbait. The notification bar takes her to a message with the link to the news embedded. She clicks the link in a way that she’s not sure exactly what the cause of is. It could be the urgency that a dying phone battery ensues in a person. It could also be the need to convince herself that the internet was messing with her once again.

©️ Brownie Vocal

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